Wednesday, April 29, 2009

10 things you ought to know about me

(1) I'm self-employed. I am not a member of any society, organization or cause and everything I say has no agenda except for the fact that I felt like sharing my thoughts on something. I'm almost completely, autonomous, or self-directed.

(2) I don't know how to do anything that doesn't involve great passion. I've always had a passion for this or that thing. I cannot wake up and go to work if I'm not 101% passionate and believing that what I'm doing is going to help me figure out how to make this world a better place for my children and the next 7 generations.

(3)I have purpose but absolutely no long-term goals in life.

(4)And because I am free, I am fearless. Being fearless means to look at fear and decide, "I'd like to be afraid of you but I have something important I got to do for the Big Guy."

(5)Because I have passion, purpose and fearlessness, it doesn't mean I'm a warrior. I love peace, not violence. I'm a pacifist to the end. However, I'm not a pushover..not anymore.

(6) Just because I don't have goals of being wealthy and successful, doesn't mean I don't love money. I don't believe in being wealthy if it means other people have to pay a higher price for my product/service than necessary, causing a direct or indirect chain of hardship; or other people have to compete to buy my product/service; or other people have to become poorer in spite of the value they're offering because of the tactics I'm employing to increase my profits.

However,to remain poor is to be lazy in two ways (1) to fight the systems that keep you poor out of fear of retribution (2)to not discover how to apply oneself effectively to create/be a player in a robust economy. But first things first; and being wealthy per se is not the first thing.

I'm absolutely not goal-oriented. I'm purpose driven. At first it seems contradictory. To have a goal is to have a man-made definition of what our Ego wants to achieve. When we need to adapt or re-evaluate, we might see it as a sign of failure or going offtrack. Goals are a purely business/bottom-line element. Goals are used to drive people to achieve something for themselves which also benefits the group/tribe/company.

To be purpose-driven, on the other hand, is to not look at bottom line or the physical movement of time to judge and benchmark one's progress. Purpose driven is an intuitive process that is invisible until the final masterpiece gets revealed. Thousands of thousands of people form underground movements or currents that are the bedrock of the next phase in human's evolution yet we don't see their purpose until upon retrospect. While humans decide the benchmarks and values of goals, Purpose is decided purely by an Invisible Hand. In Malay, there is a saying, "Manusia hanya mampu merancang.....". It clarifies my meaning that we can aspire and be filled with a purpose to execute something but only God decides the outcome of the purpose, aspiration.

(7)I care deeply about the world. There's nothing I want more than to end world hunger, to live in a world without poverty, to redirect the leadership economics has been taking that has caused environmental imbalance, to right every injustice, to save every soul, to defend those who cannot defend themselves, to liberate everyone to experience inner joy, freedom and fulfillment of their gifts, to bring humanity into 'fruition'. And I know all this sounds childish and unrealistic. As a child I gave myself 2 cut-off points to grow up : when I became a mother and raise my own children and when I hit 30. I've passed both points and I still feel the same way I did as a child. So if it means I have to work only with young people and people who are 'dreamers' then....so be it. My dream world is a lot nicer than this so-called 'real-world' that is full of the delusions and illussions of the Adults running it.

(8)I have no particular gifts or talents. I'm just particularly good at figuring out the most basic thing about how something works, enough to use it with another thing and so on and so forth until I can articulate the connections I have weaved, a connection that's always been there. I do not exactly create new things, I synergize existing things.

The second would be story-telling. After synergizing things and letting them percolate in my mind, I separate my story from its story and weave the synergy again, this time, in an oral or written tradition. I am not an original thinker nor artist or creative entity. I can't even think up fiction themes and plots nor write my own melodies. I can't come up with original theorems in science or mathematics.

Sometimes I have thoughts that seem stupid. Like once after a lengthy interview on life by a student, she said she wished she could download all the info from my brain. I said i wish I can bluetooth whatever info she asked because it's tiring using words and thinking up metaphors to illustrate or give her background premise to help her visualize and meaningfully understand something she had a question about. She thinks I should write a book and share the many things i tell her with other young people out there - but I tell her there are hundreds if not thousands of books out there already, written by people who specialize in that topic. All everyone else needs to do is do what I do - synergize,because by the time I write, publish and market one about one thing, 100 more in-depth writing about the same thing would've hit the market already. I get bored listening to myself because it's the same old thing to me.

<9>I'm not religious.

(10)I am unpredictable. No sooner had I thought I figured my self or my cause out, I change. I've given up trying to be a rock, a solid thing. I shall move like ether in this realia; this world that teaches me through tools it presents as i try to float in synchronicity in our state of flux. I have some things which are constant; the most constant is Love.

Wait....1 more:

(11) I still need to constantly edit myself for clarity. I talk too much.

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